The Things to be Seen in our Oceans of Thought.

Well, hey there friends…
Haven’t written here in a while.
Haven’t been able to sort through the mess of thoughts that is this culture-shocked brain…
So here’s a mess of thoughts for yas..
I didn’t realize culture-shock was going to affect me after my travels.. upon returning home and trying to reintegrate..
I got comfortable quickly in India.. I’m not sure why… maybe some past life shit? maybe I just adapt quickly.. Either way, it was mostly an easy transition.. and I am happiest when I’m traveling..
That being said.. My heart and mind have been wrecked. Put through the proverbial wringer… The highs and the lows of this past year have left me dizzy.. Hence the lack of writing.. I’m not even sure how to begin, and I’m not sure there will be an end..

I’ve seen a lot of things in my little life.. in my travels.. in my 3.5 months in India.. in these 31 years… and I think to kind of sum up what I’ve learned, I could say…
Life is beautiful…
and if you don’t decide to see that, you’re going to suffer… more.

People tend to make things ugly.. with their trauma.. with their broken hearts and frustrations.. but some people use those things to make themselves shine.. To reach out and create connection… There’s this unbelievable dance and balance to it all…
We are all connected through the energy that is our existence and we are all also connected through our pain… Our society wants us to connect through pains.. and because we all strive for connection, we do it.. and in this process we help to breathe life into them..
but our hearts and our minds would like us to tap into that life energy..
To help uplift, inspire, and heal.
This is why many connect through religion. Heart connection… but, in the end, we’re still dealing with traumatized humans with all their broken hearts and frustrations.. Following a God does not heal your damaged inner workings but it does help put one on a more positive path..

Human beings are dying for spiritual connection. This is what I have seen..
People hurt each other because they’ve been hurt. This is what I have seen..
People stand up for one another because they have been hurt.. This.. is what I have seen.

Most all of us start out in this existence excited. Eager. In love. Playful… Slowly, as we see what pain and hurt do to this world and to people, our shine may start to dim.. We too become hurt.. pained.. saddened.. Disconnected.. lost.. scared.. maybe even hopeless.. and plugging into our societies unhealthy and broken system tends to be the only way we find connection.. comfort in the discomfort.

All in all.. a change will come.. and I truly believe it will be positive. But it doesn’t mean we don’t have to be dragged through the shit first… but we can come out clean on the other side. Like Andy Dufrense.. Free on the other side.
Though, In all honesty, we may not see the change we’re making.. We may die before it can ever take affect… Don’t let that be disheartening! Though our lives are quick, you still have your part to play. Like a butterfly effect. What you do in these days affects the days of the future.
“Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity.”
And macro to micro, this refers to the entirety of your life
and also to each individual moment.
We get so caught up looking at the big picture that it takes us away from our moments. I know so many of us have heard this a million times, but there’s a difference between understanding something with your brain and understanding with your heart. When you understand this with your heart you take action and you stop focusing on the bigger picture. You make change and bring yourself into your moment. Your life changes. You’ll find your habit of looking at the big picture to be so deeply ingrained you go back to it again, anxiety seeps in… and then somehow, at some point, you learn through remembering once again, and go back to the moment.. for a while..
This teeter totter of calm to anxious and back again.. Just part of the job. It gets easier.
Your moment is the only thing you can effect.
This is why being mentally present in it is so important.

We have the power to effect the mood and mind of other human beings.
This is an extremely important and incredible fact. In our history we have seen both the positive and negative effects this has brought about…
the similar thing being: the power that the feeling of connection can create..
Create connection in your everyday interactions. This is how we alter the future.
This is how we change the world.
It can be as simple as holding the door open for someone. Being friendly to people. Being kind..
Or as big as giving love and being nice to someone who has been a total asshole to you.. Or going to school to study something that will better other peoples lives..
or learning to harness and nurture your sense of expression that aids in altering the hearts and minds of those it touches..
We’ve all got something to bring to the table. Talking about how we feel about things will help us figure it out..
It is easy to become bitter. It is easy to point fingers.. but both of these things do not usually make progress. We need to keep the talk from bringing us and keeping us in a negative mindset. This negative mindset typically stems from looking at the big picture. Which we can not directly alter. We can only alter our moment… and what will you do in your moment if you are bitter, angry, or pointing fingers?
These kind of things tend to make us unkind to one another…
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
Find calm and know that those around you need love as much as you do… maybe more.
Find your moment. Hang out there.
Only use the bigger picture to help you figure out how you feel about things.. then bring those ideas back to your moment with calm love. This is how we change the world..

So.. this is some of what I have seen in my 31 years… This is what makes sense to me… It might not make sense to you.. but it’s not gonna stop me from sharing..
I’m riding the anxiety/calm teeter totter and the calm feels more and more powerful.
All in practice.
All in balance.
Give love..
because it’s the only thing that makes sense in such misguided misdirected world.

I love you
Hari Om
❤

Raise Awareness For Trauma

Every human being carries Psychological Trauma.
Most of this trauma stems from Stress in Childhood. When this trauma is not addressed it can and will develop into depression or Neurosis as an adult human being. (I do not find the contents of these links to be completely accurate. I just wanted to show that these things are very real.)

The amount of trauma endured by children is so immense. So immense and so various that the extent is actually unknown. The varying degrees of childhood trauma and the effects they have on the human mind and output are so diverse, and taboo to speak of, that they often go unaddressed.. and are often found to be ‘acceptable forms of stress for healthy development’. When most times they are not. A subject so unstudied that both of the links at the top have ideas in them that are incorrect. At least childhood trauma is being addressed… All the fingers need to be pointed here.
In so many seemingly small ways, children are traumatized every day… In such a fast paced world children are being left behind… Small humans need immense amounts of attention to develop healthy minds. In our fast paced, entertainment, and judgement based society we leave little room for the necessities of child development. Through this, we have allowed a certain amount of ‘acceptable’ or ‘tolerable’ trauma. Things that people have been doing for decades so it seems socially acceptable. Things like yelling at or ‘punishing’ your child when they’ve done something ‘wrong’ instead of calmly talking with them about the situation and giving them positive redirection… Spanking or hand slapping. Even smoking around them. All pretty commonplace.
I grew up in a cloud of cigarette smoke. I was also spanked with a wooden paddle.. These were things deemed acceptable in my generation and what was deemed acceptable in my parents generation is horrifying… but when I look at this generation, it’s a whole different kind of bad..
I grew up believing it was necessary to physically reprimand a child. It wasn’t until my later twenties that I found out this is completely unnecessary. I do not blame my parents for having not known better. They did the best they knew how to do.
I’ve now been working in childcare for about 4 years and my ideas have changed immensely as I have watched babies develop and read many books on the subject, and on human brain development. I have worked both in homes with one on one care, and in a daycare facility where it is much more fast paced. Caring for, anywhere between, 8-16 babies a day ( between 13 wks – 18 mnths old) with 6-7 other badass women.

The human being is born incapable. I know we know this, but really think about that… What does that mean?

One thing it means is that they NEED our help. They NEED a caretaker. Whether it be their biological mother or a surrogate. This is a necessity… and for how long?
The first years of a human beings life are growth years of paramount importance. These are the years the initial seeds are planted. These are the years of foundation building. The things that happen here are what make the grounds for our adult selves to stand on..
And in this fast paced society children are not getting the proper time and care for healthy development… They say ‘early childhood are critical years in a childs life’ They make it seem as though there is some dividing line between childhood and adulthood. Like once you pass those years they won’t matter anymore.. The real matter is early childhood years are critical in a humans development. The damage that occurs here is what has all of our adults so mentally ill. Stress in early childhood is what is causing out Mental Illness Epidemic.

I know this is a hard thing to stomach. Especially when you have children and you have to be sucked up in that fast paced flow… It’s easy to feel anger and guilt. But I’ll tell you these feelings are unnecessary. Anger and guilt will not take you to where you need to be for your children. For this I am so sorry. I am so sorry that we are all being so left behind by this quick push of intellect with a lack of heart intelligence. If we ran our intellect through heart, no one would be left behind. ❤

                                                      .            .            .
The human childs’ instinct is to explore the world around them. In this rapid society with all its jobs and rushing around, we give these children no time to explore on their own accord. We push and pull them and yell at them when they’re not in our flow.. When what is supposed to happen, is us getting into their flow. Getting on their level and watching them explore all while keeping them safe doing it. Redirecting with positive encouragement…
We are conscious creatures instinctively developing. Try to force any other animal to develop faster and it will probably act out. Bite. Run. Scratch. But we are conscious.. so the acting out happens differently. Things like, purposely doing things we’re not supposed to. Talking back. Trying to take control over something you have no control over.. your own childhood.

Adult humans are not allowed to raise their children healthily. This fact is what leads to every problem we have. A child not given the love and the time to explore at their own pace is traumatized. It may seem so slight when they’re small, but when they grow up there is no stable foundation.. It’s all leaky and filled with so many holes. This is where MOST stress, depression, and/or neurosis come from. The other stuff is acquired as an adult with an unstable foundation..

I saw this statistic once that said: ‘A toddler is told “NO!”, “STOP!”, and “DON’T” every 9 seconds…’
Where we think we are saving the child or saving ourselves from some mess to clean up we’re actually causing a stress hormone to be released in the brain. A hormone called Cortisol. When this hormone is released it puts the body in fight-or-flight mode. With nowhere for this energy to actually go it tends to build up in the human brain. This build up causes… let’s just say, set backs.
There is an extent of necessary cortisol release. As an animal life is indeed stressful, so there is a small amount of necessary stress for a developing child. A small amount,  and not constant. Every time a child is yelled at that stress feeling releases cortisol… If we had all the time in the world, we wouldn’t have to yell and we wouldn’t have to punish.

The point of this article is not for me to make anyone feel like a bad parent. I do not want anyone to read this and leave it feeling guilty or hurt.. Which is probably inevitable… It’s a natural response to realizing something so important and unfortunate. I want you to leave here with some new perspective. Leave maybe with a yearning to help find that calm inside yourself to help aid in this process..

I just want to Raise Awareness For Trauma. The reason we have so many unstable adults running around is because of these varying degrees of trauma we all endure as children. We don’t even fully understand how the human brain functions, of course we’ve yet to fully comprehend the development of the human child.
If this article sparks intrigue into wanting to know how these ideas have found themselves deep in my mind.. I highly HIGHLY suggest you read Joseph Chilton Pearces books Magical Child and The Heart-Mind Matrix. These books have completely changed my views and my life. When this man came upon these ideas in his studies he had children and had to battle with his guilt. Which is something he talks about, but he realized those feelings were useless and now he merely had a job to do. A job through heart. When you work through heart you are always helping humanity.

Everyone comes from their own place of childhood trauma. Judging people for their actions, and pointing fingers at people for what they do as adults, is merely pinning in that trauma. Stapling it in so deep to the point where it is almost irreparable..

I am here to Raise Awareness For Trauma. I’m here to Raise Awareness For Compassion for this trauma. I’m here to raise awareness for the need to address and heal this trauma.

Getting to the route of peoples ‘bad’ or ‘wrongful’ actions brings you to their stresses in early childhood. Addressing this trauma and helping people to see it, talk through it, share their feelings and ideas about it will actually save them from its negative effects. In this society it seems when anyone speaks of childhood trauma they’re being a ‘baby’ or ‘complaining’. Whereas, if you endured the SAME EXACT trauma you would feel the SAME EXACT way because you would be them. Everyones trauma means something to them. Never make anyone feel poorly for being hurt from their childhood. No matter how seemingly small the trauma, IT IS TRAUMA.
Addressing these things in a healthy manner is the way to help heal severe depression, addiction, and constant anxiety… The sad thing is, I’m starting to believe there is a point to which a traumatized human being can develop where there is no turning back… The damage to the brain being almost permanent, or at least so stapled in that the amount of therapy/reprogramming required to undo it would be so immense… So let’s stop people from getting there. Let’s work to help children develop at their own rate.

Slow down!
there’s no need to run down this path to death..
Let’s practice living on this road to dying.
Help the next generations of human beings to feel good about being alive.

I think that’s all the ideas I can get out of me in one article on this subject… A book will happen in the future ❤

Please help me Raise Awareness For Trauma.
Please help me Raise Awareness For Love and Compassion.

We’re all traumatized, people. Let’s get through it together.
All of the love on your path
Namaste

I’ve recently come across a fantastic new study on What Childhood Trauma Does to Brain Development. I am so happy to see this is becoming more talked about ❤

Why ‘Judging People For Their Actions’ is Bullshit.

Just recently read about a man named Derrick Hamilton in The New Yorker. This man was wrongfully convicted of murder in 1983, at the age of 18 years old, and he was sentenced to 32 years to life in prison. He spent half of his life in prison for something he didn’t even do… Now, the details of this article are not what I’m here to talk about. This article merely sparked my need to write about this terrible issue I’ve been seeing. An issue so common place that there are not many people who even really notice it’s a problem… I’ve come here to talk about how our mentality towards crime and morality goes against human nature and development. I’m here to talk about how judging people for their actions gets us nowhere and is actually holding us back as a species.

I have become so overwhelmed by how dysfunctional our judicial system is. Even more disturbed that most of our world thinks that judging people for their actions even makes sense. Whomever came up with this sentiment is truly clueless to human nature. When you label someone because of something they did, they tend to stay within the boundaries of the label. Almost becoming the thing they did. Never to escape an idea someone else has for them. Holding them back mentally, they will not progress or change. Once held back, healthy human development is stunted and things that should develop get set back due to unnecessary stimuli caused by said labeling.

Let me give you an example of how this is a true thing in human development. I learned of a very interesting study done on a group of children. The goal was to find out if teachers labeling their students effected how well they did. (Labeling Effects)
In this study average level children who were labelled as ‘Gifted’ got better scores than those who were labelled ‘Slow Learners’. I realize this study is a little different but the effects in human development are the same. The stimuli and interaction these students received was believed to be what was right for their stage of development.
When you put a label on another human being it tends to dictate how others will view and treat them, and how well they view themselves.
We all know we tend to react to how we are treated by others…

Putting a troubled and ignorant human being into a huge prison system filled with a bunch of troubled and ignorant human beings is not the way to change the heart and mind of a ‘criminal’. Continuing to learn and grow with traumatized peers.. You are not changing anything… You are helping to create the criminal.
But, we’re not actually trying to change anything are we? We just want punishment for the wrong doing… but to what end??

“There is no doubt that labeling can have a tremendous effect on the way a person is perceived and treated by others.”

… and themselves.

So if we’re not supposed to judge and label people for their actions, what are we supposed to do? How do healthily and logically handle people who commit criminal acts?
How about get to the route of the actions? How about get to the cause of the problem and not just punish the outcome.

The heart of punishment is fear. People do not thrive in fear. Fear is mentally debilitating and traumatizing. Fear of punishment does not stop crime…
Let’s look at what starts crime so maybe we can address it in the proper manner…

The reason people do things that could potentially put them in prison is because they are lacking something important in their lives. Simple as that..  Whether it be finances, love, ideas, or just positive encouragement and direction. This is what trauma is. People grow up without having these things. This lacking as a young human develops into stress and depression or neurosis as an adult. Causing us to do things that a healthy adapted human being would not do.

Everyone comes from different circumstances so everyone requires different things to feel comfortable. Meaning, everyone comes from different childhood trauma and depending on the type/s of trauma, we require different stimuli to heal and feel comfortable. We do not get to choose the circumstances we are born into. We do not get to choose the trauma. Nor do we get to decide whether or not we will be able to develop the ability to understand what this trauma has done to or for us as adults. Meaning we can’t just decide to learn how to cope, we are taught how at young ages. Without the ability to cope with childhood trauma we become very uncomfortable adults and young adults.

So, what the belief of ‘Judging people for the actions’ shows me is, it doesn’t seem as though we humans are realizing that trauma causes us to act out… and acting out can put you in prison…
So we’re actually punishing people for being traumatized.. How does that make any sense??
This is like watching someone cut themselves and then pouring salt in the wound and letting them continue…

Our judicial system is punishing people for being injured and uncomfortable..
This is not ‘help’.

Punishing a criminal creates the criminal. If we really want to rehabilitate criminals they need your HELP not your judgement. THIS TRAUMA NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED. The reasons why people are driven to do what they’re doing needs to be talked about. Animals act out under stress. Most times people who have done something ‘wrong’ merely need a way out. Some redirection.

The way humans develop does not change much from childhood. As we grow we require age and stage appropriate stimuli to continue healthy brain function and development. If the toddler does not receive new stimuli and continues to have infantile interaction there will be set backs. If the five year old still has only toddler stimuli to interact with there will be mental aggravation and set backs. Adult humans are very similar. Our stimuli directly effects our output….

And currently, we have court rooms run by criminals who are moralizing the acts of innocent and traumatized humans… Purposely putting an innocent man in jail for a crime he did not commit is a criminal act. The man who put Derrick Hamilton (and other innocent men) behind bars , Louis Scarcella, is comfortably retired and getting a pension. We have greedy, educated, criminals running the show. A show that creates more poverty, fear, and violence than it stops. A show that creates street criminals just so it can continue being.. While we sit at home and watch the next reality TV show to see who else we can judge from the comfort of our own homes.. This all aids in the judgement mentality our society holds. Creating distance between us when what we need is unity.

Well, What do I think a possible solution for all this could be? Thanks for asking! 😉

In the state of things, what I propose seems pretty far out there, but I think our government is the farthest thing out there anyhow.. So, I propose ‘Judges’ actually CARE about the individuals life that they’re indeed judging. I propose we ask people why they have done such a heinous crime so we can get to the bottom of it and stop it from happening again. And if they don’t know why (which most don’t) we help them figure it out with concern and affection.. Maybe they need a job they like, maybe they need to be removed from a toxic home life and be placed around people who can appreciate them, maybe they need just ONE person to show they care. Maybe they need a shit ton of therapy. These are things that are possible. These are things that will help lower our prison population and actually HELP people to get what they need, in turn REHABILITATING a so called criminal.
Also, our prison systems should be more positivity oriented. If you want a criminal to change you should probably CHANGE their stimuli. Prison systems should require you to undergo therapy and counseling. Classes on love and meditation. Art and self expression. Prison systems should function more like a quality daycare… oh, but god forbid we actually care about wounded humans who have done something wrong, in a money hungry society that leaves it’s people behind… leaves its children behind.

Judging a person based upon a violent or questionable act is a crime. It is both shameful and wrong. Humans grow and change depending on their surroundings. Put a criminal in prison system and you are most likely not changing their stimuli. Meaning they will keep a criminal mentality.
In order to change a humans behavior they will require a different environment…

What’s Einstein’s definition of insanity again? … ‘Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.’ …? What we’re doing isn’t working.

If you teach a human through true care and concern you will more than likely end up with an adult filled with care and concern for others. Teach one through harsh discipline, punishment, and conditional love and you will get either an overly sensitive, traumatized, wounded adult who will overcompensate when raising their own young, or you’ll get a chip off the old block. Another tough skinned, traumatized, no nonsense, judgmental, yet insecure and uncomfortable adult…
People develop through their circumstances and with how we’re teaching people to view the world we’re creating terrible circumstances for people and for children. Our adults are wounded. Lacking. Stressed and stretched thin. How do we raise mentally healthy children when we create such stressful atmospheres for adults and parents?

.       .       .

People need to be able to be less fearful of one another. We need to be raised up through love, redirection, and positive encouragement. Not discipline and punishment. Discipline and punishment lead to fear, discomfort, and rebellion, not ‘respect’. When a human is raised through love and respect, they’re more likely to develop into well adjusted, communicative adults. Which means we need to give humans the time and affection needed for proper emotional growth, and providing them with healthy guidance and redirection when they’ve done something unsafe.

We are born so incapable, and like many animals born so incapable we require constant nurture and support. In a society so fast paced, entertainment and punishment focused, we are leaving our children behind. We have created the perfect atmosphere for raising dysfunctional human beings. And IT’S NOT OUR FAULT. We are all so traumatized. We have no need to feel guilty about the way things have been going. All we need to do is what needs to be done to change it.

Nurture the love and light that shines so brightly, and is so deeply rooted in the hearts of our young ones. Help that to be what blossoms. Make it something they know and are raised in, so they don’t long and search in fear for it the rest of their lives.

When humans are well adjusted and in tune with the love we all bear, we share it. We know that it is the most important thing. Nurture your children and love your neighbor. Teach your children to love their neighbor. Listen! No matter how uncomfortable the information may make you!
It’s an obligation as a human to help those around you to the extent you are personally capable. This is how we further our evolution. We are an inter-dependent species, and there is nothing wrong with that. Matter o’ fact it’s quite beautiful.. even more so when we can actually make that function…
Two things that need drastic change in order to save this country… How we deal with ‘Criminals’ and how we raise our children… so they don’t turn into ‘criminals’.

We’re trying to stop people from doing things wrong with FEAR. This is counterproductive and combats human development! Love keeps people from doing things wrong people. LOVE. When people are lacking love they can have a hard time giving, receiving, and/or understanding it. When a small child does something wrong or unsafe because they don’t understand, they are only just learning that it is wrong or unsafe. So we need to make sure to teach them through love and understanding so as not to create unnecessary fear. A child should not be punished for doing something they don’t understand. Neither should an adult. When a person is pushed to limits where they’re doing something ‘wrong’ they truly don’t understand the extent of what they’re doing.  Even though it may seem so. The trauma they have endured has brought them to a place, not of love, but of stress and struggle. A place of fight or flight. Surviving in fear of failure.

Fear is debilitating where as love is so full of possibilities.

Why is this so hard to understand?

If we want things to change we need to realize that we the people make the change. It doesn’t matter who our president is. It’s about a shift in mentality.

Raise awareness for love. Raise awareness for understanding. Raise awareness for compassion.
Come together before we let traumatized adults tear it all apart…

Raise awareness for the mental health epidemic. Raise awareness for trauma, and all it’s shapes and sizes.

Be Love. Be Kindness.
The rest will flow. ❤
Namaste

Here is a link to The New Yorker article about Derrick Hamilton if you’re interested (Derrick Hamilton Jailhouse Lawyer)
We have a lot of work to do, but let’s not WORRY about it and just DO what needs to be done.

Love and Light to Share

With a guided flowing focus you will see all that is right for you…
With the proper perspective you can conquer the world.

Sometimes that world gets heavy when your looking at your feet
Spending all your time thinking about how to make ends meet

Whether it be love or money it seems there’s always a chase..
a catch, or a race..

No matter how hard I try to outrun these ideas
it seems they always slip a finger in my minds pocket..
Pokin’ around with nothing better to do..

This is where the guided focus comes into play. Bringing your awareness back to your gratitude to help bring about the, less stressful, positive emotions that help to guide your flow in the proper direction..
Some days are harder than others, but if I don’t keep in this practice the weight will flatten me..
and I refuse to be flattened by ideas…
I refuse to be flattened by anything

Working steadily to strengthen this vibration emanating from my heart.
A focused focus and a loving flow.

I invite into my life positive growth and change,
as I walk through it with love and light to share. ❤

I’m gonna keep walking.

I’m just here to tell you, this addiction thing is bigger than you.

This is, in part, another reaction to Brianna Lyman’s ‘brilliant’ blog Stop Calling Your Drug Addiction A Disease. Too many people agree with her opinion. I needed to share these ideas. If people don’t know this perspective they really really should… here goes, this needs revision ❤

I’ve spent a good amount of time discussing the heroin epidemic in the north east United States over the past year.. It has especially gotten very bad in Massachusetts. My home state. Around 2,000 opiate related deaths just in 2016 alone. That is about double the death toll of the entire state of New York for 2016.
Opiate use takes around 30,000 American lives a year. I just lost another friend of mine in February 2017..
Being from Massachusetts I’ve seen it hit my town pretty hard.. I’ve seen it take so many lives. I’ve also seen the opinions of so many people affected by this epidemic, and I must say, it has disgusted me more than the epidemic itself. I’m here to give a differing perspective. One of understanding rather than judgement. I’m hoping to help change some of these negative perspectives by the end of this blog.

A recent discussion I had was about an article focusing on drug dealers in this epidemic. New York is now looking to charge drug dealers for the deaths caused by heroin use. YAY! …. maybe?
Where many people find this to be a great idea, as we were all raised to believe in punishment of some kind, It is sadly not where our focus should be going. Going after dealers isn’t going to stop people from using, it merely makes them have to look harder and maybe deal with worse people to get what they need… and in turn puts an ignorant, possibly addicted, human being into a broken prison system that will most likely never completely let them go..
All bad.

So where do we start?

How about the reasons that people use to begin with.. How can we stop them from ever picking up in the first place? Let’s look at the causes of Addiction.
A lot of cases of opiate addiction stem from injury. Becoming addicted after having surgery or an incident and needing pain medication to make it through. At this time, your drug dealer is your local pharmacy. This is such a horrible manner to have become addicted to opiates. When people who are supposed to be helping you end up harming you.. This issue is so far up the ladder it’s not so easy to address.. Fighting to get opiates out of our local drug stores, when most anyone with pain can get a prescription, is really the end goal. But while we’re waiting for this mass spread of research on other miraculous pain relieving plants and medicines, we have another job to do. We have to fight the things we can. So let’s look at the issues that we can DIRECTLY help. You and I even. Besides helping to spread information, we can help in our everyday actions. So, let’s look at the deeper reasons most people reach out for such a fatally comfortable and addictive bandage..

The main reason being, Trauma:
and it’s various shapes and sizes
Neglect, Abuse; both emotional and/or physical. Basically all equaling up to an overall emotional discomfort and instability. When this type of trauma is endured at a young age it manifests itself as mental illness or neurosis as an adult. The scale of neurosis is immense. Much like the scale of the abuse that causes it. But, also like the Autism spectrum, there are so many different ways this trauma can present itself in adulthood. The main ways being anxiety and depression.. Which can often lead to addiction.
Autism is sometimes also one of the illnesses caused by early childhood trauma.

Now some people may say, ‘I’ve also been traumatized and have emotional discomfort but I don’t use drugs!’ Well, congratulations. Why don’t you rub it in? We are all born to different circumstances and taught different ways of coping with our stresses. A lot of people were not so blessed as to be taught how to cope in a healthy manner. You should consider yourself blessed and all the more capable and obligated to help those who need it.
There are many people who turn to anti-anxiety medications instead of hard drugs, but in a lot of cases the reasons for the use are the same.

.   .   .

We are on this planet for interaction. That is what we do. It is how we survive. All through interaction. So at the base of all of our lives it’s safe to say that interaction is the most important skill we humans have. Our ability to interact is our ability to survive healthily. It is our ability to both successfully learn and teach. Every day interactions change our every days.. This country is not helping to equip our people with a means for emotional stability. Which is something we need to manage in order to interact healthily and grow through our stresses. More often than not when someone says they’re sad or anxious they get diagnosed with anxiety and depression and put on medication. MOST anxiety and depression or neurosis are manageable by YOU the bearer of the discomfort. I am not saying that mental illness does not exist. I’ve seen it face to face. I know what it looks like and it has various forms. I AM saying we OVERDIAGNOSE these things on a very regular basis. And I often wonder how many cases of mental illness are brought upon by a false diagnosis along with prescription medications that are unnecessary. Eventually causing an actual debilitating depression.
A Neurosis does not necessarily require medication.
We live in a stress culture. Everyone has some amount of stress to bear. This is not something we discuss openly. We all carry our stress in different manners. Some of us don’t learn to carry it at all and we let it drag us to the ground. Some of these cases are a real true chemical imbalance in ones brain. A lot of times it’s merely because no one ever told you life was going to be so difficult. No one ever told you you had to help yourself because our country hasn’t exactly figured out how to do it. No one ever told you you can let the negative thoughts win.. and the negative thoughts want to win so it’s easy to let them. We have to fight to follow our hearts in order to really be happy. It takes consciously thinking about thinking. It seems anytime someone talks about how overwhelming their stress is they get diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It’s happened to me too. As if you’re not supposed to feel this way in a money hungry society that has no true concern for your well being… ???
Yes. You are going to feel anxious. The lives we’re given are not easy. Emotions are a very real thing that need to be addressed and felt and talked about. If you truly have a chemical imbalance that has caused you to have a manic/bipolar breakdown that ends in hospitalization, I may not necessarily be talking to you, but that does not mean the things I’m talking about here do not also pertain to you. We all have the ability to help others. We all have the ability every day to affect the feelings of someone else.. and we do. Whether we notice or not, our everyday interactions have an affect on everyone we interact with. We truly need to make sure these interactions are filled with love and kindness. We’re a species of animal that works together to better ourselves but it doesn’t seem as though we’re focusing on that. We more often work together to hate the same things and buy the same things. Working together is through heart not head. Working together through love and concern is our only way out of this.

So instead of working to jail drug dealers, who are also often drug addicts themselves, we need to address the mental health crisis we are seeing. Heroin/Opiate addiction may be an epidemic but it is merely a symptom of a much larger problem. We’ve built a society that neglects it’s people because it’s too busy. Too busy concerned with money and punishing people who do things ‘wrong’. Whoever came up with the idea of ‘judging people for their actions’ is clueless to human nature. We are ever changing and forever adapting. When you LABEL someone they tend to stay within those boundaries never to escape it. They say people don’t change but it’s only because we aren’t helping, we’re condemning. If someone does something wrong it is a symptom of another issue. Usually something that hasn’t been addressed. I personally think instead of imprisoning people for wrong doings we should ask if they’re okay. Ask them what brought them to do what they did. Ask them what they need to change their life and make it better for them. We are all programmed. That is what growing is. We program our brains throughout our lives. Sometimes the programming is horrible and negative, filled with neglect and judgement with not a single touch of affection. If we all had a choice and knew, I’m sure we would choose what is better for us. No baby who is raised through love and given the time it needs for growth ever wants to grow up and hurt people. This society is strangling the ability to enjoy life right out of our children. If we want to get to the bottom of this we need to talk about our emotions. No matter how big, small, or seemingly insignificant. Your feelings are worth your attention. You are worth the attention.
YOU ARE WORTH THE ATTENTION.
Mental illness has become an epidemic caused by a stress culture that neglects it’s people. We need to teach people how to carry this stress. It is so unbelievably possible and, I’m praying, probable. The actual balance of the stress is definitely more difficult than the spread of information about its possibility. The more people who realize this the more we will see it. I hope it leads to better and more useful counseling and therapy and MORE of it. Everyone needs someone to talk to. Someone who will not judge them and tell them they’re wrong for feeling. It’s a suppression of emotion that has gotten us here in the first place.
I want to see this addressed. I want to see people getting the help they need. We are born and forced into a stress state. Our parents are so busy trying to survive and fearing failure. This is our first example of living. What other way are we supposed to feel? We’re bonding to a stress culture and keeping it fed.
To change what causes the stress is so much more work than learning to carry it, but it is something I’m putting my focus towards.
We are more than capable of turning this around. Be there for those around you. Be a positive light for them. Help people to know they are important and worth the time. It’s okay to be sad, it’s not okay to not address it with words. Talk to someone about how you’re feeling. If you don’t have someone, talk to me. Please. I know what it is like to not have someone to talk to. I think most of us do.
IT’S OKAY TO FEEL.
Remember if someone is ‘acting out’ or doing something mean or ‘wrong’ it is merely a symptom of discomfort. Think about how you feel just when you’re hungry or tired… Animals lash out when distressed. We need to be more understanding of Trauma. That it is a thing and it should be talked about. Someone talking about their trauma isn’t them looking for sympathy or pity, it’s looking for connection. A sign of hope for understanding in all this mess. Talking about trauma tends to make us uncomfortable. Think about what happens when you DON’T talk about these things though. This is how neurosis develop.

I’d like to talk for a moment about a study called Park Rat (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park) that was done on lab rats in the 70’s. In this study they used morphine in water bottles to study the habits of addiction. One water bottle with plain water, the other water bottle laced with morphine. In this study they concluded that addiction had mainly to do with environment and living conditions. They found rats that were solitarily confined would only drink the drugged water. Rats that were given playmates and toys and things, a ‘Rat Park’, chose plain water over the morphine water. Even more interesting is an experiment where they “forced rats in ordinary lab cages to consume the morphine-laced solution for 57 days without other liquid available to drink. When they moved into Rat Park, they were allowed to choose between the morphine solution and plain water. They drank the plain water. He writes that they did show some signs of dependence. There were “some minor withdrawal signs, twitching, what have you, but there were none of the mythic seizures and sweats you so often hear about.”
Interesting huh?
Are you starting to see now why addiction has never been a choice? Do you see how peoples very different and various circumstances create the lives they lead? They create the mental process that continues forward. We only grow from what we know. If your circumstances have you living comfortably and looking at addicts like they’re complete loser idiots who made horrible choices for themselves, then you’re actually in no place to make a comment about who these people are or why they do the things they do. You have no frame of reference. A lot of these people you say choose this must’ve also chosen the abuse that caused it.

This problem is bigger than all of us. This problem is bigger than you.

We are the only ones that can help each other. If someone has something uncomfortable to talk about don’t tell them not to. Don’t make them feel sorry for trying to share a wound. Listen to them. Be there. Tell them it’s okay. You could personally be the one to stop someone from picking up again. You’re definitely not going to stop them by criticizing and telling them they chose it.
Addicts don’t disgust me. Even though some of their acts may be despicable. What disgust me is how quick people are to point fingers at shit they don’t understand. What disgusts me is this putrid attitude towards peoples hardships with no damn frame of reference.
When you see an addict you should be seeing a traumatized person who has somehow been left behind. And of course it’s not for lack of trying I’m sure. So many addicts have worn out their families trust and patience. This is merely because the help that has been offered is not the solution to this issue. The help is getting to the root of the trauma and creating healthier more enjoyable living conditions… And this is so much larger than any of us, I feel as though I need to stop here because it has been something I’ve been writing about for some time now…
I’m gonna end this here. I have more coming about all of this but this is important and pretty time sensitive with all these stupid blogs going around about addiction not being a disease. It may be a disease, but like many diseases you can overcome.
If you don’t understand addiction, shut up about it. Unless it’s to ask questions.
I’m just here to tell you that whole addiction thing you’re talking about is way bigger than you. The only way this heals is when humans come together.
Now, shut up unless you’re actually trying to help.
Also, I love you. And sorry for calling you an idiot.
Idiot.

Shadows of ourselves

I’m so tired of the masks that people wear.
The fronts that people put up and the fear that causes it.
These masks have brought a person like me, someone who absolutely adores people and how wildly different they are, to a point of being exhausted by them. You spend so much time getting to know a person only to find out you’re merely familiarizing yourself with a cleverly designed mask of all shapes and sizes. A Rorschach test that shifts with your own interests and desires.
“You like walking?! Me too!!”
“You love terrible pop music with no interesting lyrics?! No way! Me too!!”
“You want to change the world?! Ha! That’s crazy! So do I!”
“MY favorite color is red too!!”
“I also love puppies!”
“You love listening to people lie about the things they like just to make the person they’re talking to like them?! HA! THAT’S CRAZY! ME TOO!!”
Nothing but a shadow of yourself… just to get what you want..
or my favorite, “You don’t want a relationship? Oh yea, me either.”
Shit.
Why would you want to convince someone you’re something that you’re not? Besides two obvious reasons. You want said person to like you right away and two you’re really hoping to get in their pants.. To the first reason I’d like to say, that’s a bad idea. There are so many people in this world.. Don’t waste your time getting someone to like you for things that you are not. Take the chance on the fact that they could like you for exactly who you ARE. When the truth surfaces you’re worse off. Back at square one.. How is it satisfying when someone likes you for who you aren’t?
Take the chance of being yourself. If a person doesn’t like you for you, good riddance. You’ll keep the right people in your life when you expose who you really are…
To the second reason I’d like to say, what the fuck? That shit is so annoying. In most cases I am very good at realizing this is the case very quickly.. but sometimes these masks are so intricate it can be difficult.. Sometimes instead of wearing a fancy mask to show what we are not, we wear darker masks to hide what we actually are… To hide what our true intentions are.

Some people treat it like a sport. I find these people are boring. The “Can I get in this persons pants” game.. When, if these people were honest, they’d probably find more people who are just fine with that. It’s the facade that tends to be a turn off. If you are real with your intentions to begin with you may find more people are interested in the same.

I don’t want to go in deep into this… I don’t want to sit here and complain about this issue and what it has done to my idea of people… What I want to do about this is tell people all the reasons they should be themselves. I don’t want to explain all the reasons I hate these masks…but I would like to say no one who has pulled this on me has been successful in tricking me into taking off my pants.. Thankfully.
I would like to tell you people to embrace who you are. There is nothing more attractive in a human than their honest confidence. Someone who is who they are regardless of what other people might think. Regardless of the fact if someone might like them or not… Even if they’re really hoping you WILL like them. Sure it can be upsetting if you’re attracted to someone and it turns out you have nothing in common.. but, there are billions of other fish in the sea.. and hey, you may just end up with a FRIEND instead of a sexual relationship.. Real friends are hard to come by.

I’m having a lot of trouble writing this… like I had trouble talking about it… Probably because I have a semi defeatist attitude about the whole situation.. No matter how much I want people to be themselves they never will… Hopefully if you read this and you have a brain it will make you feel better about being yourself… but I believe 85% – 95% of the population are like a TV commercial. Show you what they want you to see because they think that’s what YOU want. We’re the product of relentless programming. Relentless successful programming. I am programmed. To unprogram the programming is incredibly difficult.. We’re taught and shown, from day one, the way life is supposed to be. How we’re supposed to feel. Causing us to be insecure and afraid. Setting us up for failure. We’re afraid of being human. Afraid to show people we’re human and we’re vulnerable.. I’m here to tell you WE ALL ARE.
Even the most, seemingly, confident people have weakness and insecurity. They’re just good at keeping their masks up. A lot of times it’s a mask of ego. A false sense of pride..
I’m tired of shiny candy coatings.. The inside is supposed to be delicious chocolate but when you put up a facade you make the interior seem closer to a pile of dog shit… When you let your shit show, the people who are worth it will respect your honesty and love you more for it.
Don’t be afraid of being a flawed fucked up human! We all are!!
I’m wondering why this has become more of an irritation to me as I got older… I think it’s because when we’re kids we don’t worry as much about what people think of us. I grew up with some truly bitchy assholes.. but they were HONEST. They didn’t give a shit if you didn’t like them. There was no sugar coating.. Well, there was a coating but it wasn’t sugar… These people tend to lie to themselves but not to you… but it’s people like this that aren’t afraid to tell you all of the things that are wrong with you that you end up wanting to hide later in life.. When they’re just projecting their insecurities onto you… Programmed by our surroundings. These people are at least easier to steer clear of… The sugar coatings are the scarier ones.
You are who you are. Don’t be fearful of that. The right people will love you for it.
My programming makes me uncomfortable sharing these things so openly. So I fight it. I fight it because it feels better to be painfully honest with myself. I actually have to try to not care what people think of me.. No one could possibly think any worse of me than I think of myself. You are your own worst enemy. Acknowledging that is the most important step in unprogramming. Acknowledging that the negative ways you feel about yourself are irrational. These inadequate feelings are irrational. Be good to yourself by being yourself…
I still have faith in humanity nonetheless. I still have faith that there is enough intellect out there… but I do believe it may be getting less and less… People who hide have children who hide and so on.. You can help this by being yourself. Set a good example by being true to who you are.
If you’re nice, be nice. If you’re funny, be funny. If you’re an asshole, be an asshole. If you’ve got a lot to say, say it. Don’t be afraid. It doesn’t mean it will be easy. It might scare away people you hope wouldn’t go away but if they don’t want to be around you because of who you are then they shouldn’t be around you anyhow…
You are awesome! You are human! You are an alien. We are aliens! Just because we label ourselves human doesn’t make us any less alien. We have these short short lives on this gigantic rock in the middle of nowhere space. Do you really want to live it as someone else?
You are not your neighbor. You are not your friends or your siblings or your parents. You’re different and that’s what’s beautiful.
You are what you love and not what loves you.
Don’t create someone who doesn’t exist. You exist. Be your existence would you? Cause it’s all you’ve got.
I’m gonna go be myself all over the place. I’m going to continue to be me no matter how many strange looks I get. No matter how many people it scares away. No matter what people it scares away. The best ones will stick around. ❤
Don’t be afraid. Risk being exactly who you are.

I also suggest watching Jim Carreys speech from when he graduated from MUM. Maharishi University of Management. It’s truly beautiful and inspirational.
Jim Carrey’s Commencement Address